Be A Transformation

Can you make an educated guess about what is the most common age when a person suffers through his first heart attack? If you guessed somewhere around 60 then you are wrong. It’s usually at the age of 24, when you first start working. Majority of people suffer their 1st major heart attack on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 am. Do you know why? It’s because they don't love what they do. They don't love their jobs. A lot of us can relate ourselves to this situation. A simple answer to why we end up in this situation is because eighty percent of us didn't trust ourselves with our own dreams. At some point in our lives some of us must have thought that it was too competitive or must have thought that we were not smart enough to live our dreams and turn them into reality. Whereas, others must have thought that it would take too many years to get them to their dream land. But let me tell you, all these are excuses. Neither of the reasons are valid as to why we don't have a job that we always dreamed about. The only reason behind it is the FEAR OF FAILURE.

We being social animals; think of other people and their opinions about us more then we think for ourselves. It is because we are born and brought up in a society that is and has always been this way. It takes practice to live outside the box. So what do you do to live outside the box? What you should know is that someone's opinion about you does not become your reality. You need people who trust you and are ready to invest in you. Invest their time, trust and also money when necessary. If you are surrounded by people who constantly doubt your abilities and capabilities, TRASH THEM. There is no room for negativity in your life because one negative thought or person can flip everything. It can hold you back forever.

To start with the basics, you need to remind yourself every morning that "I deserve to find the purpose of my life, I deserve the best that life has to offer". Believe in yourself. Take chances. If you don't take chances, you will never be happy; no matter what. Life is too short trying to plan it safe. No one will get out alive anyways. Be positive, be bold, and be hungry. Hungry for knowledge. Hungry for opportunities.

Be prepared. Because it is always better to be prepared for opportunities and have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared. When you know within yourself that you are going to make it, you will make it. 

Over confidence is bad. All of you must have come across the quote 'practice makes a man perfect'. Let me tell you that's a lie. There is nothing like perfect. Take the word out of your dictionary. Practice only makes improvement. Perfection doesn't exist.  

     So what should you do to improve? Think of what are the five reasons why you deserve your goal? What will you do if life knocks you down when you are on your journey of achieving it? You have to have a reason to get up when life gets you down. It is a trend to be knocked down. But let me tell you, not many people can make it back. This is the point where 70% of us give up because of our fear of failure. But you have to be strong. There will obviously times when you will have to rely on other people to get certain things done. There will also be times when you will need someone’s help to go a step further and there will be times when those people will not show up. That's when something called backup plans come in use. You will only get through all this if you are mentally prepared for it. By preparation I don’t mean preparation for failure. It’s just a phase of life. You can call it a mode. Just like when you are on an airplane and when you go from one vibration to another, you fasten your seatbelts. Similarly, fasten your mental seatbelts on the journey of achieving your goals because it will take a while till you get to the comfort level. This still doesn’t guarantee success. If there is a problem in the engine, your plane might crash as well. But when you fall off, make sure you land on your back. Make sure you have a reason to get up when life knocks you down.

Remember the best revenge in life is massive success. May it be success in work, relationship or any other thing that that you fear of. Know the reason for what you do. We always know where we are going and what we are doing and what the outcome in future would be. Life is just like a movie, you know the end. You know the hero is not going to die. But sometimes we just pick the wrong movie thinking of a different possible outcome. Not everyone in life is perfect. Not everyone can make the right decisions at the right time. But I promise, the real fun is in being imperfect. You get to learn a lot being stupid. Think of yourself being Einstein. Do you think anyone will ever tell you anything? There will be a very people who will challenge you and your sink of knowledge will be limited to what you already know. It is good to be common, it is good not to be very famous, it is good to make mistakes because in the end that’s what makes you who you are. That’s what makes you a different kind of perfect.

Life is too short for taking it seriously. Find little things to get tickled with. There are no guarantees. You can't wait to be happy for reasons like, "I'll be happy when my children will grow up, I'll be happy when I get my divorce”. It is reallyyyy too short. You don't know if you will be here in the next five years or not. Make a commitment to be happy right now. Not because you might not be here in the next five years, but because you deserve to be happy. Enjoy the sunset, go for a walk, help a needy person, sing out loud and dance whenever you can and don’t forget to get the toxicity out of your life. It is better to carry a 10 people who will be happy to see you successful than carrying 100 people who will hold you back.

Any person can sum up their lives based on the two types of relationships. One that is nourishing: they motivate and inspire you and second that is toxic: It exploits your weaknesses and they constantly remind you of your weaknesses instead of your strengths. Just like one apple can spoil the whole barrel, one negative person can spoil your life.

This involves one of our most important relationships too. The relationship with our significant other. We all know at least someone who has been holding back to their relationship for a while now. The most common excuse why they hold back is because they think they don't want to die alone. They fear that they will not find anyone good enough with whom they can spend their lives with. If you are in a relationship right now, ask yourself- what type of a person you are becoming because of the relationship you are in right now? Is it helping you grow? Are you becoming a better person? Do they encourage you to develop your greatness? Because in the end, know that 'birds of a feather flock together'. If you run with losers, unconsciously you will end up being a loser. Coming to professional life, align yourself with powerful people, people that can encourage you and the ones who can contribute to your growth. Be with people who are doing what you want to do. Remember to always drive to the top because you really don’t want to be at the bottom. It is too crowded and it is very easy to be there. It takes no effort. Anybody can hang in there. It takes no motivation.

To get to this level the biggest enemy you have to deal with is yourself. There is no enemy outside that can harm you. So redefine yourself. Ask yourself- Who am I? What do I want to be? Do I want to keep on getting what I am getting right now? If you do, keep on doing what you are doing. Remember, all of us are winners. But some of us are producing results that we don't want. Therefore, it is very important to look at our game plan. Look at the pattern of our scripts of what we’ve been doing. We need to start saying yes to everything. Yes to our dreams. Yes to the present. Let the past go so you can grow, because if you can't grow, you can't become the best and if you don't become the best, you will never be happy. No one rises on low expectations.

Touch a spark in people. Be positive. Think of what contribution you want to make when you die. You have greatness within you. And as you work consciously to bring those things out, you will rediscover yourself. If you want to think about anything negative, think about your fight with yourself. Think about losing your sleep because “dreams are not what you see while sleeping, they are something that don’t let you sleep”- APJ Kalam. No one, I repeat No one can keep you off your dreams except yourself.

And remember-"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberating from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Timo Cruz ~ Coach Carter

Live in the day because today will never come back again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal and not wound.

Negative thinking will only make it worst

Negative thinking

   For many years I have been an avid collector of self improvement books. I love to read them and I enjoy them. But there is no book which has yet brought me close to what I am looking for in those books since years. I was looking in the wrong place of course. I was looking for the key outside when it was within me all along. There is nothing wrong with self help books, they can help you, motivate you, challenge you, but they will never change what's inside of you.
   What changes you is the realization that your mind is under your control and not under the control of any books or advise from advisers. I have figured in the past 21 years of my life span, that I only ask for advise when I want to hear what I think is right. If someone advises me to do the opposite, I won't be satisfied with that advise. This will take time, but everyone will realize this sooner or later.
    In our busy modern day lives, first thing here is that everyone wants to be successful. Well, the definition of " being successful" might change from person to person. Someone wants to be a successful wife, someone wants to be a successful industrialist and the someone like me wants to be the best at everything. We think that we are super heroes, we can achieve everything we want, so we force ourselves to the extremes.
    Getting to this level of success, we lose some important "happy moments". These moments are the one's we won't be able to find if we don't dig for them. It's like gold; to find it, one needs to work really hard. But when one finds it in the mine, they will find unlimited amounts, at least enough for one lifetime. I won't really stress on how to dig through it because if you figure that yourself, it will be a gift to you, from you.
   I would surely like to share the key/hint with you though. What we focus our attention on, grows; and it becomes an important part of our journey called LIFE. Many, perhaps most of us choose to focus on the negative things in life and the negative side of every decisions. We complain about the missed opportunities and the mistakes that we made in the past. But please note, past doesn't stand in the way of future unless you really want it to. When we compare ourselves with people better than us, negative thoughts arise, these thoughts grow and make a house in our minds. THIS IS WHAT YOU DON'T WANT. You need to love yourself and not compare. Remember, if you don't love yourself, no one will.
     One of the great books that I read called 'Awareness' by Anthony de Mello, taught me that simply being aware of the negative thoughts will help you drop it. Thinking positive is not hard at all. Be vigilant and be diligent, when you spot a negative thought, just drop it. Don't wait. Just drop.

  As a kid, I was told a story at school. I would like to share it with you. At least one time in the entire day, god says "granted" and at that moment what ever is on your mind will come true. Let's say for example, right now you are reading this and thinking that, "I wish I was more positive", if god says granted then your wish will be granted. But let's say if you are thinking that, "Why am I so negative? I will never be happy", if god says granted, you will never actually be happy. Some of you might point out that how do I know all this? Well, I will say that this might not totally work. But this was the goal behind it, a couple of years after I started practicing being positive, I didn't have to try at all. Now, I never think of God being able to grant my wishes. I know that because I am positive and I don't fear failure, SUCCESS IS NOT TOO FAR. Life is good. And always remember, family comes first. Everything else second.

It's all about maintaining the right mental attitude and knowing how to control your own mind. Think of it in a way that when it's possible to be at peace and happy and relaxed in every situation, why waste another minute on negative thoughts?

 Love. Peace ~ Shaili 

Life is beautiful...

Life is Beautiful

    I saw a homeless person today. It kept me wondering all day about how lucky I was and what a struggling but perfect life I had. All the questions that I had from life, got answers all of a sudden.

   Have you ever thought about this that we complain about or lives everyday.  Some of them involve complaining about friends, family, or our own selves. We complain about not being able to be successful. But most of the time we don't try hard enough to reach our goals. And we end up only complaining; complaining about people, about our job, about our spouses or about our significant otter. But, have you ever thought why you like or dislike someone? If you question yourself, 90% of the time the answer will be based on the role that person plays in your life. Lets be straight on the face without using any sophisticated language, if the person is useful to you in anyway you will say that he is a very nice person. When you expect from someone and when they meet to your expectations, they become a good person to you.

     It is your expectations are which make someone a good or a bad person. Once you stop expecting,  you will realize that you have started loving every person in your life. It won't matter if they do anything for you or not. Someone being good or bad to us is not in our control. All you can do is cherish the good memories, forget the bad one's and take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Because life comes with no guarantees, no timeouts and no second chances.

  Go tell someone what they mean to you because life is too short to wait for the right moment. And there's no time for drama. Live, Love, Laugh because you are a miracle. Only lucky ones survive, even at developmental levels. You were not only born; you also survived. Be thankful. Be humble. Be yourself because Life is Beautiful my friend, not everybody gets a chance to live it the way you are living it.
  

I am...

  I am...

We never think about people who die in accidents involving alcohol. It flashes on the news and people think of it for a day or two and then it's gone. No one thinks that they themselves or some of their loved ones could have been involved in that accident. 

We need to spread more awareness when it comes to things like alcohol. Based on that thought is a short poem for all the youngsters out there who don't take drunk and drive cases seriously. Please learn from other's mistakes. Don't wait to go through it yourself because that day; it will be too late.

I am more powerful than the armies of the world.
I've killed millions of innocent ones 

Have you ever see an accident?

An accident where a drunkard was involved and killed an innocent one?

Yes that was me; I was the cause of it.

I am the worst thief; I don't steal things, I steal people.

I will take you away when your family when it needs you the most- when you are young.

I am relentless, insidious, and unpredictable.

I give you nothing and I take away everything.

I am the worst enemy in mask of a friend.

Avoid me.

I am alcohol.

I finally started to believe in God

As a kid, religion was never forced upon me or my brother. Every person in my family including my grandparents follow a different religion. So it was never really important for me or my brother to believe in god. Everyone in the family tried to give their best but I came up to be an atheist. I don't think it's a wrong thing. But me being an atheist was not a normal thing to my mom sometimes. She would say, "its good to pray, it makes you stronger". "pray to whom mom?", I said. "Pray to god beta (dear daughter)".  Mom I wake up every day and I thank you for bringing me in this beautiful world. Mom had basically lost all hopes in me about believing in god.

   I thought this was never going to change. Winter was almost there, I was so tensed with all my classes and my grades plus me getting into research was looking impossible due to so much competition. I always wanted to do something 'cool' as a kid and as I grew up, my guts for doing 'cool' things became stronger. This included all the crazy adventures that I have done so far. Back to the research part; I can't say that I really tried hard, but I did email a lot of professors last semester. I didn't email any of the professors this year because it looked next to impossible to (without even trying).
   One usual day, I was on my way out of the professor's office. Out of nowhere I find an opportunity through a Teaching Assistant.It was totally random. I didn't email the professor for the next 5 days. Finally I decided to do it. I emailed him and BOOM!! I'm in. Later that week I went through the longest interview of my life. It went well. Mom got through her Certification exam the same day. I thought, "when things were so messed up, how did everything turn out to be so happy and settled all of a sudden?" I heard a voice, "God exists". And I repeated, "God Exists". Later that night, I realized that I had said that on my way out of the building after my interview. I didn't know why, and I didn't want to know why. I was comfortable with that mixed feeling about God. I knew there is some power that brought me to it and then brought me through it which made me happy.
   I called mom and the first thing she said was, "all the prayers are answered". I had nothing to say except "yes mom yes".  At the first instance, she kinda got into the mood and didn't realize that I had talked about god and said yes to her. Two days later she calls me up to double check if I really started believing in god? I was hesitant but I said "you could think of it in that way". This was enough to make her day.
   Conclusion could be that unless you really feel it you wouldn't believe it and unless you believe it, you wouldn't feel it. I have a friend who believes in a different god everyday. One day he would keep saying Jesus, some other day he would refer to one of the Indian gods. Lets just keep his status as 'complicated'. He'll get there. Just like I did. Now since I believe that there is some power that exists to make things go in a positive way, I can say I have a reason to pray. People will believe in God only when they feel God. God is nothing but plainly a positivist hidden inside you. It's not male, it's not female. It's a positivist, it never goes with gender or appearance. It only goes with loving one-self as who you are and believing in one self. Go find it. No matter how bad life gets, always know: If you could hold on for so long, you could definitely hold on to it for  a little more because YOU WERE CREATED LIMITLESS. THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU.

Problems!! Who doesn't go through one?

Problems!! Who doesn't go through one?    

All of us have missed at least one important date or dead line in our entire life. May it be a school project or picking up a pre-ordered item or if you got lucky enough, you might have missed your own wedding.Jokes apart, the point here is not that you missed it, it is weather you made a come back on it or not. And if you did, how subtle was it?

    I had a friend who was on the verge of losing his scholarship because of one such mistake. He missed his homework deadline online by 3 hours because he was in the so called "Thanks Giving weekend mood". We were playing cards as he had come over to my house for the weekend from NY. After all my cousins left and were done playing, he somehow  remembered that he was supposed to submit his assignment by 12 midnight. It was almost 3 AM. He started counting his grades to double check on the final adjustment on how many more points he needed in order to get the scholarship. He figured he'll almost be 6 percent short for it, and apparently the assignment that he missed would have covered that six percent. He started freaking out about how he needed a hundred on every upcoming test in order to not miss the scholarship and started assuming that he'll be fine if he gets those hundreds. 

  All this time I was holding my words back because he takes my words way too seriously. I didn't want him to be depressed, but in a Major like Computer Engineering, it is next to impossible to get a total 100 on your exams. I couldn't resist and I said, "So you think that you can manage to get a 100 on every upcoming test including your semester's project?" He knew it was impossible, so he nodded and said "NO". "So what are you wasting your energy for? Since the past 20 minutes you are talking about getting a hundred and being fine on the scholarship issue when it is technically impossible" I said. He nodded. There was an exclamation on his face, looked like he was expecting for a solution from me.

      I am a kind of person who is not a perfectionist, but you can call me very close to a perfectionist. I want the right thing at the right time, and I like to do the right thing at the right time. So for the people who I care about, I try to make their lives perfect or close to perfect. The people who don't know me much, think that I interfere in two of my best friends lives. Believe me or not, my best friends love me for being such a nosy person and to question them about their choice or decisions  My other best friend who is not a part of this scenario, thinks she would die without me being in her life. 

      The moral of the story is that if you miss a dead line or your own wedding (luckily), do not assume that you've lost everything in life. There are millions of people who miss the train of success by 10 mili-seconds, you could be one of those. I am not saying that you should be negative about all what you miss either. sometimes, it is all for good like the holy books say. But you should definitely think of alternatives.I believe in back up plans. Everything in life should have a back up plan. for example, if I have an 8 AM class and if I go to bed late, before going to bed, I think of what would I do if my 6.30 alarm doesn't help me wake up? Or if I fail a test, no matter how well I am prepared and if I can't get into my major for 0.02 GPA points, what would me my backup plans? There is a back up plan to everything, you only need to think a little harder and when it clicks, work a little harder.Every person has success as their destiny. The only difference is, some take it longer to figure it out and some quit before they can figure it out. I'd say, never quit. That is the worst you could do to yourself. A tiny ant fails 100,000 times before successfully getting the food up the hill, but it never gives up. The ants began farming about 50 million years before humans thought to raise their own crops. If a small creature like ant can do it, than why not you? 

 Coming back to my friend, he finally decided that he would still try and complete the assignment that night and send it to the professor, although it was next to impossible that the professor to accept it. But who knows, someday you might just get lucky and be just work fine. If that was the day, his professor would've said yes! Well, that didn't happen, life is not a fairy tale. But we came up with a back up plan for him. Since he was an international student, his only choice was to look up for an internship and find a job on campus as soon as possible so that he could make up for the scholarship money. It wasn't really about the money, it was about the carelessness because of which he lost the scholarship. He had to make up for it. It is a along term plan, but I'm sure it will be a successful one. 

Best wishes to him.

Never give up.

Success will kiss your feet one day.

Happy mothers day mom!

Dear Mom,
We often forget our moms for all what they do for us in our day to day lives
On this MOTHERS DAY we took some time
To Thank you for all what you have done for us MOM
And all that you've been doing for us....
We remember how you drove us from one place to another
You never even complained
You dedicated all your life to us
You have been A Mom, A dad, A sister and mostly a Best friend.
We remember how hard you worked
and that will never ever be forgotten
Purav and I do fight a lot, But it's more like a Love fight
We fight with each other to let each other know 
Whats right and whats wrong for us.
We are grown ups mom.
We remember all what you taught us,
your values, your morals,
 we will always live up to your expectations and be good beings.
 LOVE              
: Shaili & Purav

this is for you....

Kurtz

                                                   Inspired by the Heart of Darkness

From Kurtz's point of view

I was not immortal.

In my journey from birth to death

Death wasn’t too far

I could see it come; I could see the bonds fade away

I was hesitant, I was scared

I also tried to escape into the jungle

But I knew I could not escape it

No one can

I sat, I thought, I wondered

Why was it so hard for the soul to leave the body?

Why was it so hard to say goodbye?

I could clearly see an answer; my deeds….

The harder I think the darker it gets

Every thought of regret, inflates the burden of guilt

I shouldn't have done this to her,

I know it’s coming to an end…..

I know I won’t be here for too long

It’s too late to regret, and it’s too hard to leave

I can feel her presence,

She's here to punish me for not being the loyal one


If Fate is getting what you deserve,
Then you deserve what you get

It’s time to pay back for my sins

For nothing in this world is free.

There, there I see them come, not too glad to see me

I feel a mysterious stillness, clinging into silence

& I feel the horror the terror, the terror the horror